Joke of the day

re short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!"

 

Flight 284: Tower, here flight 284, please call me a fueltruck!
Tower: OK, flight 284, youre a fueltruck!

 

"danke, chef" ;-)

 

*lol*

 

s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence
the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight".

33. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.
Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month or what we know today as the honeymoon.

34. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some
service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

35. In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had "F.*.*.*." (Fornication Under Consent of the King) written on it. Now you know where that WORD came from.

36. In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled "Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden" ... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.[/I]

 

>14. Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Stimmt nicht! In Deutschland ist fast jedes Auto ein Nationalheiligtum!

 

Geben Sie uns bitte Ihre erwartete Ankunftszeit.
Pilot: 'Hmmmm... Dienstag würde mir gut passen.

 

Solche Chefs sind mir die liebsten :)

Sch*****, da fällt mir ein, ich muss noch wischen *feudel*

Und wech..............

 

*michwegschmeiss ))*

 

*lach*

 

After a very hard touch down...
The flight attendant welcomes the passengers....
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to XXXXX
Please remain seated until captain Kangaroo had bounced us to the terminal, or what's left from our airplane respectively.

(diese durchsage soll es wirklich gegeben haben){Muss China Southern gewesen sein}